End of year thoughts and review questions
What is the point and what works?
Before I finally commence that one week of self-permitted lounging, I want to try and relay what the point of this blog is.
If one is disturbed by something in life (and from what I see, many people now are experiencing some kind of problem), the proposed solutions from certain schools of thought are simplified as follows:
Stoic: Change belief
Epicurean: Shift Attention
Taoism / Wu-Wei: No prescription. Excess trying or contrived effort is not as effective and often counterproductive. Discovery of true nature of self and the truth about the situation, creates natural right action. Through developing of own understanding of how things really work and don’t work at the meta level, you arrive at perfect unforced action given circumstances. Then stuff just flows.
Sounds complicated, right?
You can’t quickly describe what that last thing actually means in practice. But it’s damn useful. Hence I am giving it a shot through various subjects of parent and child co-development.
The Stoic/Epicurean solutions have their place, are highly valid skills and sound easier than they are in practice. Having said that, my experience is that Wu-Wei is the ultimate way at the meta level. When grasped, you can really see the excess force and chase ruining things that could be beautiful across many domains.
The thing is, people are hungry for quick solutions, a how-to list. But if you present them with 5 step plans and dumb it down, you get nonsense concepts and easily sold ideas like ‘Gentle Parenting’. The result of excess trying to be ‘gentle’ and following ‘rules’ is a mess: stressed parents and overly sensitive children in a near perpetual state of tantrum.
Wu-Wei doesn’t mean non-action. When something is clearly wrong - the natural thing is to take action to stop it, even if it’s hard. As psychologist Jonathan Haidt correctly noted - we have overprotected kids in real life, and are under protecting them online. I don’t see why anyone below 15 should be given TikTok, Instagram or a smartphone. Computer access at home and at school is sufficient.
In an article I have almost finished, I will compare the business tactics of these non-standard consumer products to those of the slot machine industry in Las Vegas. It is unbelievable how we normalised giving tools of mass addiction (for adults!) to kids. Kids who have not learned yet to really value their agency and attention, who are too young to be rooted in who they are.
This year, I covered some things that aid natural child development into flourishing adults. The stuff that becomes increasingly important in the age of ever increasing complexity:
A connection to something beyond themselves, a sense of deep level okayishness. If the parent has it, it’s enough and it will vaccinate against many anxieties.
Space, time and a habit of experiencing awe and wonder . This will allow them to develop and follow their curiosity.
A shockproof bullshit detector and vaccination against unexamined societal fears.
Much more agency in their education , given that most institutions are way behind
An ability to question own beliefs
A futureproof mindset that can take advantage of the personal agency renaissance.
Next year I will touch upon introspection/personal space, tech/social media, valueing agency and attention, the trouble inside the intricate dance between males and females and much more.
End of year review
Everyone loves doing these nowadays. I am asking myself the following, which grew out of the themes that interest me:
What strong beliefs have I suspended this year?
Where was I directing my attention unconsciously and hence have allowed it to be stolen? Where and how did I waste this precious resource?
Where was I exercising unnatural force (out of fear, greed, impatience or other ineffectiveness)? What is the missing understanding that caused the chase?
Which activities and decisions felt fully aligned with my specific flow and with what I am meant to be doing? Which were not?
Where was I not present and grateful enough? Where did I rush past the miracles?
Thank you for reading. Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Joyful, Healthy, Harmonius 2024!
Anna
Seriously?