Goodbye + Article Index
This is going to be my last public writing for a while. Something is calling to be created and it will require my full focus.
Parallel to this blog, my original drive was to show young people the possibility of a different kind of life quality than what is normally seen as being on offer. A life where your default experience is flow and deep aliveness. A life untouched by the assaults of one’s mind. A life connected to the greater reality.
The iteration was rather quick: I started and dropped writing 2 books and 2 ideas for a kind of wisdom school. It was all not “IT”. We don't need more education, preachiness - that is not how people imbibe information. We imbibe it through feeling engaged… mostly through entertainment.
After getting a glimpse of something real, one often rushes into sharing things. Little did I know that before I got to make my final creation, my “Self” had to be dismantled.
For a while, the universe has been feeding me information and hands on experience, with the exact goal unclear. Over the past 6 months the intensity and precision has increased exponentially. The pieces have come together now, the reconfiguration of “me” for the task seems to have reached a certain plateau. As the creation is ready to take on a life of its own, it will require full focus.
I don't know how long it will take me and it's too early to discuss any details. I do know I need to hunker down and let the process unfold. This means giving up all the non-core activities, including blogging, at least till I am done. I thank you for reading my ramblings so far.
What, in the end, can I say about parenting?
What impact can a parent really have, besides the obvious: being a decent human being, providing food, shelter and space for a bit of privacy? Besides those key parts, what is the one main overarching factor, when you look at the parents of completely successful people (not just financially free, but in terms of life satisfaction as well)? This is what I have found:
The parents of these people had their own life that they found highly interesting and engaging. There was not enough of “them” left to be obsessed and anxious by the role of the so heavily perceived responsibility of “parent”. They were living their interests, own pursuits and something that really fed their soul. From that position (of the parent being fully alive and engaged), when guidance is given, the child’s ears do perk up.
In the above case, the child can breathe and grow in the cocoon of the forces of nature/Tao (whose intelligence is vastly superior to ours), without having the baggage of emptiness, boredom, fears, expectations or dread of a parent’s (partly) unlived life.
However, outside of the house there is another big potential trip wire: Getting swayed by mainstream thinking and popular distractions. Being carried away by beliefs that one has not learned to question. This is where the astute parent can model the habit of what truly thinking for oneself is and how to question assumptions. Several articles in the index below touch upon this topic.
Besides healthy questioning of consensus thinking, it seems the best one can do is be an authentic caretaker and have other deep interests.
Children being inspired by your life is a bonus, it's not a requirement for them “making it”. The key part is that you are inspired by your own life.
But what if you don’t know what it is for you that brings this aliveness anymore?
What if you had the career highs, the wins, the parties, the travels, the philanthropy even… what if you have had all that and it stops being IT? What is the final, ever satisfying chase that puts an end to all chases?
For me, it was a thorough investigation into the nature of reality: what am I, what this life is, what are the laws that govern existence? Getting to the truth of all that, so there are no questions left, testing it and living it. This ends all chases. Then it doesn’t matter much what you do. The quality of life and the avenues that appear for any creative pursuit are of a different order all together.
The standard advice for this path isn’t that bad: Follow your natural curiosity, leave the secure path, take risks, question earnestly. If one does that with full buy in, the universe will eventually provide you with deeper, experiential explanation to the simplistic sounding truths. And the boon you ultimately wanted (but wasn’t able to articulate). I can say in the end, the payoff for the occasional discomfort and the time spent, is very much worth it.
Conclusion
There is no need to read parenting blogs, books and instructions if you have found what makes you permanently excited about being alive. There is no need to force the teenager to spend vasts amount of time doing something that he hasn’t examined the validity and use of. There is no need to stuff every free hour of their time with “productive” activities.
Model and authentically share how you live your best life whilst leaving them space to create their own. Love, have fun, explore, take chances, trust the universe, question popular beliefs and assumptions. Times are changing fast and all this “woo” stuff, mixed with some inquisitive common sense, is becoming more rewarded than it used to be.
At the bottom in resources is an index of themes/ articles that some have found useful.
Wishing you all a fantastic Christmas, happy holidays and a fruitful 2025.
With much gratitude,
Anna
P.S. All the paid subscribers had their paid subscriptions cancelled now and remain a free subscriber. Anyone on the free tier will get any future writing on other subjects/updates from me.
Some past Articles people found useful:
High Agency Children. What does it mean to be a high agency? How does it arise and what destroys it?
Immunization against low agency: Why does high agency seems elusive?
Agency over own attention: Getting kids to value their attention as a core asset
Emotions and Self in an empowering context. The missing character in “Inside Out”
Immunization against the adult-made virus of entry exam stress
Understanding the value of agency and new opportunities in the changing education landscape. Kids proving how “School” was holding them back. A preview to the future of education?
A paradigm in understanding of reality that can foster a connection to something beyond oneself, a sense of deep level okayishness. Modern minds arriving at “God”.
Ability to think probabilistically + Parents who acknowledge that the times and payoffs of “what works” are changing fast. The risk of being real.
Value of a shockproof bullshit detector.
An ability to question one's own beliefs. The stuff fears are made off and What beliefs will your children inherit?
A peak at a futureproof mindset that can take advantage of the Personal Agency Renaissance
What Trading Taught me about Surrender, Spirituality and Reality